Have you ever needed to make a really important decision, but just really felt lost as to which direction you should go in? Have you ever gone to family and friends for advice and left feeling even more confused than ever? Did you let a deadline slip by because you literally were afraid of making the wrong decision so you just did nothing instead, potentially missing out on a really awesome opportunity? I used to be one of those people who felt as if I needed everyone’s opinion before I made a major decision in my life. I would ask my mom, family and friends and of course, everyone had a different opinion on what I should do which made me feel even worse and more conflicted and my issue was still not resolved. So what ended up happening was I made decisions out of fear and stifled my growth because I wanted to be safe when all along I should have taken control and had faith in my own ability to make the best decisions for my life.
As I’ve gotten older though, I now have the understanding that one of the main reasons why we’re afraid of making decisions is because we want the outcome to be perfect. We always want the assurance that what we are doing is the right thing to do and that we’re not going to experience any discomfort. But HELLO! It doesn’t work like that! Sometimes you just need to go for it and hope for the best. But if the best is not what you get, it’s ok! Life goes on and at least you were brave enough to do something about your issue! Below, I’ve created 5 simple steps that you can follow the next time you’re faced with a difficult decision. You will notice that these steps were created so that you my dear are actually taking control of the things that happen in your life. Good or bad. You hold the keys to your future, no one else.
Actually take time alone to think about the issue. Get some paper out and actually start writing things down. Whether you do it or not, how is this decision going to affect you? What feelings are coming up when you think about it? (Fear, anxiety, etc.) Understanding why you feel conflicted will help you to sort through your own emotions so that you don’t have to rely solely on other’s opinions.
Once you’ve spent some alone time sorting through everything, then you can ask a few trusted others for their opinions. Make sure that those that you ask have your best interest at heart. (This makes a difference because sometimes people will give you a fear based answer based on how they feel if they were met with this challenge, not on how capable they think you are of handling it.)
Make a choice! Put those feelings into action and actually do something. I know this is scary, but it must be done! Once your decision is made, take the next best step forward and keep going!
Make peace with your decision and move on. Have faith! Things are going to work out regardless. And if you don’t get the outcome that you want, take the lessons that you learned so that you can apply it the next time you have to make a big decision because yes, there are more major decisions ahead, I promise you!
Be grateful for the experience! Working your way through an issue makes you cognitively stronger and it increases your self-esteem because you know that you have the power to do what’s best for you and that knowledge is a gift in itself.